MINI-RANT #7 - The Incredible Stupidity Adventure

Friday night. Walmart. Technically, this location is in Stevenson Ranch, which is theoretically the snooty, high-dollar section of the Santa Clarita Valley. It's never my favorite place to shop, but because  current circumstances have me living a few hundred yards from here, I tend to be in here relatively frequently.

Tonight, I needed a large storage bin to hold some items, some Ambrosia (in my world, Pepsi), and some orange juice. I tossed in a couple of iTunes cards, one for me and one for my son, who is at least two weeks ahead of schedule in summer school, and deserves a little reward. 

So, we have our items, and head for the checkout. It's busy, this particular evening, as we're right off the 5 freeway, and all of the Six Flags tourists are stopping for their pork rinds and diet sodas for the drive home. The people in front of us have a pretty substantial order, including a pack of women's razors.

SIDE RANT: Because of the stupidity of so many people, most places lock up razors and blades in one form or another. These particular ones were in a magnetically-locked portable security case. One would think each register would be equipped with the proper equipment to unlock it. And actually, they are. This ties back to the main rant at this point...

The "cashier" has no clue how to open the case. Tells the girl to take it to the self-service monitor station, and she has the "doohickey" to open the case...

The total of their sale was some number ending in .04. Remember that number...

Our friendly cashier, and I have to be honest, she did seem to be a very nice person, accepted the $100 bill from the man paying, knew enough to check for the security strip in the bill, then entered the amount into her register. As she's counting out the change, the young lady offers her the .04.

"That's okay, I've already started counting out the change, and I don't want to make a mistake."

Now, say this with me, readers: .96 + .04 = 1.00. It is among the simplest, most basic of math problems on the planet. My baby granddaughter can probably already do this particular piece of mathematics without breaking a sweat. Our friendly cashier: not so much.

She hands over the change, the afore-mentioned .96. The change consisted of nine dimes, one nickel and one penny. That's right, not a quarter in the bunch. Again, basic mathematics. Sense a theme, dear reader?

Our friends move on to get the case unlocked, a little perplexed at how badly that went. Me, on the other hand, after watching this exhibition of retail stupidity, step up for my turn.

She scans the orange juice, then grabs the two iTunes cards. She waves one past the scanner, which reads the barcode. She then stands there, staring at her screen, unsure of what to do next. So I, having bought a few iTunes cards in my time, helpfully prompt her to run the magnetic stripe through her register.

"Oh, that's right. I'm only a back-up cashier, so sometimes I forget things."

In my head, I'm screaming. Externally, I remain calm, and wait for her to finish the first card. Except she swipes the second card through the reader. The register of course rejects it, because the bar code and stripe don't match. The customer readout says "swipe does not match barcode <clr>". Meaning, press the clear button, and swipe the correct card.

Again, trying to be helpful, I tell her she swiped the wrong card. What does she do? She PUTS DOWN THE CORRECT CARD, and starts looking for someone to help her.

At that point, I look at Danielle, and say "Let's go to Vons."

We simply walk away from the debacle, and as we leave, the only thing I can say is this: "that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen! No one is that stupid!"

Except, she was. Back-up cashier or not, you should know the basics of the register you're using, and more importantly, you should be able to make change correctly, and understand basic math.

I get that the economy is tougher than we'd all like it to be, and that sometimes you do what you have to do to survive. Still...if you can't add 6 + 4, and come up with 10...you don't belong behind a cash register. Ever.

MINI-RANT OVER.

Mini-rant #6 - Manners, or the lack thereof...

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm an anachronism. Maybe today's world has passed me by, and I just don't understand modern society. Maybe I'm the grumpy old man I used to laugh about when I was a kid...

Or maybe we just aren't teaching our kids the right things. Instead of teaching them independence, or teaching them to stand up for themselves, damn the cost...we should teach them common courtesy.

Hmm...common courtesy. Just the words bring back things I learned at a young age. Hold the door for those behind you (which, I will admit, happens more often than it sometimes seems). Excuse yourself when you walk in front of someone in a store (this one really kills me, since few people do it anymore...even those that should know better). Step to the side when you see someone older walking toward you (I've had more than one confrontation over the years about this one...and I always win).

Do the simple things that make life easier, both for you and for someone else. Some would call it a random act of kindness to hold a door, or to say excuse me, or to step out of the way of someone coming towards you. That's not a random act of kindness. A random act of kindness (hereafter RAOK) is paying the bill for the kid behind you buying a donut at the grocery store and counting pennies to do so. (I've done it. Cost me a buck, and left me feeling good all day long to see the smile on that poor kid's face when he realized he wasn't spending his last dollar right then and there.) a RAOK is dropping a quarter in the meter right before the parking meter expires, and saving some poor bastard some serious money.

Common courtesy is even easier, and doesn't cost you anything. No money need change hands. Simply do the right thing and say excuse me when you pass in front of someone. Hold the door for the people behind you, or let the people coming out go first. Stand aside and let the elevator empty out before you get on...(yeah, I went there.)

Parents. Teach your kids not to be so self-centered. Teach them that it's not uncool to be polite, and to say please and thank you. I learned it, and I'm doing my best to pass it down to not only my kids, but all the kids I have an influence on.

Kids. Don't worry about looking bad in front of your friends for being polite. You're kids. You have short attention spans anyway...they'll forget you did it the second someone sees something shiny.

Maybe I'm naive. Hell, I probably am. I believe what I believe, though...and if you disagree, well...that's your right. Just like it's my right to think you're an asshole for disagreeing with me, especially on this.

Some things are just right. Common courtesy should always top that list. Along with Orange Creamsicle Sherbet from Dreyers. That shit is seriously badass...

Mini-rant over.

MINI-RANT #5 - People on elevators.

MINI-RANT #5 - People on elevators.

Is it just me, or does proper etiquette ignored pretty much all of the time? Especially when it comes to getting on or off of an elevator?

Just a short time ago, I was getting off the elevator where I live, and this weaselly little man comes charging onto the car before I could take more than a single step off. I might be in the minority for thinking this, but wouldn't it make a lot more sense to allow the people getting off the elevator to actually get off, so that the car is empty for them to go about their night?

Sincerely makes me wish I'd had some gas to share with the little bastard...

Mini-Rant Over.

MINI-RANT #04 - Passwords

MINI-RANT #04 - Passwords

Can I just say that I HATE when websites dictate the type of password you use to access your own personal account? Maybe, just maybe, I don't want to have a password with a capital letter, a symbol, 3 numbers, a lock of my own hair, and the name of my first sexual conquest. Let me set my password in any way I see fit, damn it!

Mini-Rant Over.

MINI-RANT #3 - The "N" Word

MINI-RANT #3 - The "N" Word

A word too often used in a derogatory manner, it’s time for a frank, honest discussion of where the word came from, and why the word has become what it is.

It is a word that came into being long ago, under circumstance no one could rightfully claim to know. Even now, after studies, debates, and massive amounts of publicity, no one really claims to know the origin.

I do know one thing, though: enough is enough.

It is time to take this hurtful, demeaning word out of the vocabulary of every single person on the planet. I am calling for a worldwide ban on the “N” word.

I know what you’re thinking right now. That’s nothing new, people have been saying the word is overused and overexposed for years. You would be right about that. You would also be right if you said the sky is blue, and grass is green. Stating the obvious does nothing, except, well, state the obvious.

This is a word that, if it has ever been used against you, causes your heart to pulse a little faster, and your jaw to drop to your chest. You find yourself amazed that someone could be so crude as to use it against you, but even worse…you wonder if it’s really true.

What’s even worse than being called one to your face, is hearing the word glamorized in pop culture. There are diverse artists that have used the word in their creations. Rappers, musicians, authors, actors, all have let the hateful word slip free. I say ENOUGH!

Enough of the hate! Enough of the torture! Ban the hateful word forever! Let that word never be spoken again!

I, for one, am ever so tired of being called…

A nerd.

(You didn't really think I'd be serious about this, did you?)

MINI-RANT #2: Gay Marriage

MINI-RANT #2: Gay Marriage

I've seen a lot in regards to the gay marriage issue recently, and while I generally try to keep my political views personal, I do have some thoughts to share with the masses (all 46 of you, at current count).

Someone posted a rant about taking marriage from the government, and make it a strictly religious institution. Here's a different idea: take religion from government, instead. Rick Santorum (remember him?) wanted (wants) to rewrite the government and its laws to mirror the laws of God, as "the founding fathers intended". It's funny, though...I don't remember this country being founded by religious zealots. I remember the Constitution being specifically written to keep Church and State as separate as possible, to prevent exactly the things going on in society today.

It is not the function of a religious leader to make secular decisions. Nor is it the role of political leadership to make laws based on their interpretation of "God's Law", and then enforce those rules, despite popular opinion.

Here in California, Prop 8 was passed a few years back, in part due to substantial support and efforts from certain religious groups. Those groups shuttled in thousands and thousands of "supporters", housed, fed and financed them until they established residency in the state, and more importantly, the right to vote in the state. Then, on election day, those "supporters" flooded the ballot boxes and enforced their religious viewpoints on the rest of us. Now, that law has rightfully been struck down.

Yeah, I support the right of anyone to get married to whomever they choose. No, I don't believe that marriage is strictly a religious institution. Considering that every single marriage is required to be validated and licensed by local and state governments before being considered valid, I find that thought to be rather quaint, if I'm being brutally honest.

Personally, I do believe that there is a God, although, considering the issues my family and I have faced the last couple of years, I have my doubts. I do firmly believe that He's got other, more important things to do than worry about who loves who, or who marries who. I believe that to be a good, loving person is the surest way to Heaven, which means, in many ways...live and let live. I don't force anyone to do what I want them to do, other than my kids...and that doesn't always go well.

Yeah, gay marriage is legal. Get over it. Does it affect you personally? Unless your spouse suddenly leaves you for their homosexual lover...no, it really does not. There is still more than enough straight couples out there to keep the world populated for centuries to come. As it says in the Bible and I paraphrase, mostly because I'm too lazy to actually look up the proper verse) "Take care of the dirt in your own eye, before you worry about the dust in someone else's."

MINI-RANT OVER.

MINI-RANT #01: Pre-Conceived Notions

MINI-RANT #01: 

 In the last several weeks, we've seen two movies that fly (no pun intended) in the face of what was done before in previous iterations; MAN OF STEEL and STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS. Both represent new, fresh takes on classic material, and need to be viewed in that context, not as bastardizations of beloved source material that should have been re-filmed and regurgitated on the screen to make the "true fan" happy. 

Well, newsflash for you: I'm a "true fan" and I absolutely LOVED both of those movies. STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS was an incredible ride into new, darker territory that invoked flashes of what was, but charted brave new ground into the future...exactly what Gene Roddenberry, the creator of STAR TREK, envisioned. MAN OF STEEL...I said it a few days ago: this was the Superman movie I've waited my entire life to see. Incredible, convincing action, coupled with a Superman more human and honest than the one in my beloved comic books. To those that cling to the past and bemoan any attempt to update and modernize their beloved memories, I say this: go back to your parent's basement and play with your action figures. Let the rest of us enjoy the brilliance of these works of fantasy without your vitriol and bucolic venom. 

MINI-RANT OVER.