MINI-RANT #08: Jeopardy and the Whiny Child

I'm a fan of Jeopardy. I'd like to think I'd do well, but I'd have to get really lucky on the categories I was playing in, or I'd get swamped...really quickly. I freely admit it.

I was watching the recent kids tournament. Normally, I find the kids tournaments to be as exciting as watching dry paint get drier. However, there wasn't much on the crappy TV I'm currently forced to watch, so I hung in and played along.

The eventual winner, Skylar Hornback, had already amassed a very impressive $36,600 going into Final Jeopardy. The category was "The Civil War", a category noted to be one of Skylar's interests. The chances of his missing the question and losing were pretty slim, at best, as the eventual second place winner, Thomas Hurley, went into Final Jeopardy with $9,600.

Thomas spelled his answer incorrectly. The rules state clearly that an answer does not have to be spelled correctly, but if the spelling changes the pronunciation of a word in the answer, than the answer is incorrect.

He got the answer right, but his spelling of "Emancipation" added a "T" after the "P", clearly changing the pronunciation. Was it badly misspelled? Not really. Did the misspelling change the pronunciation? Clearly, it did. Say it with me: "e-man-cip-ta-tion". Obviously, the word is wrong, and he was rightly penalized for the error.

The winner got the answer correct, and spelled it correctly as well. Remember when I said he went into Final Jeopardy with $36,600? His wager was $30,000. Yeah...you read that right. $30,000. Skylar apparently has balls of steel, and a perfectly understandable level of self-confidence most kids his age wouldn't even be able to imagine, let alone possess.

Thomas has gone on record as saying he feels cheated, and should have gotten the answer right. I say this: too fucking bad, kid. Grow a set and man up.

You were wrong, according to the rules of the game you were playing. More importantly, IT DOES NOT MATTER. You had ZERO chance...say it with me, here...ZERO chance of winning. The category was one that happened to be an area of interest for the winner, and I would imagine there was little to no chance he would have gotten it wrong. The point remains, he got it right. HE GOT IT RIGHT.

The second he got it right, YOU LOST! Even if he had bet absolutely nothing, he had nearly three times what you would have had, had you been given credit for the right answer you clearly had, but just as clearly misspelled. You were destined to be the first runner-up...plain and simple.

My real issue with all of this is the fact that so many people have lost sight of one simple fact: even if he had been given credit for a right answer, he still would have lost. He had no chance once Skylar got the answer right.

His mother is fanning the flames of this mini-controversy, claiming he was embarrassed and humiliated by Alex Trebek, who called his mistake "badly misspelled". Was it? Not in my opinion, which we all know is worth its weight in gold. He added one extra letter...and changed the pronunciation of the word, which was a violation of the rules.

He should be embarrassed for spelling the word wrong. However, he didn't lose a single penny. He won exactly what he would have won with a correct answer": $2,000, the standard payment to the second-place finisher.

People need to stop blaming Jeopardy for Thomas' mistake. More importantly, they need to stop claiming he should have won. There's no chance he would have...the math doesn't ever add up. The stupidity of the masses strikes again, and instead of teaching Thomas the importance of knowing how to spell, the masses would rather award the intent. 

Imagine, if you will, the plaque at the base of the Statue of Liberty. Now, imagine if the maker misspelled words, and instead of demanding corrections, we simply shrugged, and accepted the error as is. The world would laugh in our faces even more than they currently do.

At the end of the day, is Jeopardy going to take the $66,600 from Skylar? Not a chance in hell. Is Thomas going to have to settle for second place, and $2,000? Yes.

Sadly, Skylar's impressive win, which was nearly a record setting one-day total, is being overshadowed by Thomas, his mother, and the whining of the huddled masses, too stupid to understand basic math. This whole thing would really make me despair for the future of humanity, if I didn't already think the world is going to hell in a hand-basket. As it is, the end draws ever nearer...

MINI-RANT #08 - OVER.