MINI-RANT #7 - The Incredible Stupidity Adventure

Friday night. Walmart. Technically, this location is in Stevenson Ranch, which is theoretically the snooty, high-dollar section of the Santa Clarita Valley. It's never my favorite place to shop, but because  current circumstances have me living a few hundred yards from here, I tend to be in here relatively frequently.

Tonight, I needed a large storage bin to hold some items, some Ambrosia (in my world, Pepsi), and some orange juice. I tossed in a couple of iTunes cards, one for me and one for my son, who is at least two weeks ahead of schedule in summer school, and deserves a little reward. 

So, we have our items, and head for the checkout. It's busy, this particular evening, as we're right off the 5 freeway, and all of the Six Flags tourists are stopping for their pork rinds and diet sodas for the drive home. The people in front of us have a pretty substantial order, including a pack of women's razors.

SIDE RANT: Because of the stupidity of so many people, most places lock up razors and blades in one form or another. These particular ones were in a magnetically-locked portable security case. One would think each register would be equipped with the proper equipment to unlock it. And actually, they are. This ties back to the main rant at this point...

The "cashier" has no clue how to open the case. Tells the girl to take it to the self-service monitor station, and she has the "doohickey" to open the case...

The total of their sale was some number ending in .04. Remember that number...

Our friendly cashier, and I have to be honest, she did seem to be a very nice person, accepted the $100 bill from the man paying, knew enough to check for the security strip in the bill, then entered the amount into her register. As she's counting out the change, the young lady offers her the .04.

"That's okay, I've already started counting out the change, and I don't want to make a mistake."

Now, say this with me, readers: .96 + .04 = 1.00. It is among the simplest, most basic of math problems on the planet. My baby granddaughter can probably already do this particular piece of mathematics without breaking a sweat. Our friendly cashier: not so much.

She hands over the change, the afore-mentioned .96. The change consisted of nine dimes, one nickel and one penny. That's right, not a quarter in the bunch. Again, basic mathematics. Sense a theme, dear reader?

Our friends move on to get the case unlocked, a little perplexed at how badly that went. Me, on the other hand, after watching this exhibition of retail stupidity, step up for my turn.

She scans the orange juice, then grabs the two iTunes cards. She waves one past the scanner, which reads the barcode. She then stands there, staring at her screen, unsure of what to do next. So I, having bought a few iTunes cards in my time, helpfully prompt her to run the magnetic stripe through her register.

"Oh, that's right. I'm only a back-up cashier, so sometimes I forget things."

In my head, I'm screaming. Externally, I remain calm, and wait for her to finish the first card. Except she swipes the second card through the reader. The register of course rejects it, because the bar code and stripe don't match. The customer readout says "swipe does not match barcode <clr>". Meaning, press the clear button, and swipe the correct card.

Again, trying to be helpful, I tell her she swiped the wrong card. What does she do? She PUTS DOWN THE CORRECT CARD, and starts looking for someone to help her.

At that point, I look at Danielle, and say "Let's go to Vons."

We simply walk away from the debacle, and as we leave, the only thing I can say is this: "that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen! No one is that stupid!"

Except, she was. Back-up cashier or not, you should know the basics of the register you're using, and more importantly, you should be able to make change correctly, and understand basic math.

I get that the economy is tougher than we'd all like it to be, and that sometimes you do what you have to do to survive. Still...if you can't add 6 + 4, and come up with 10...you don't belong behind a cash register. Ever.

MINI-RANT OVER.